Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
