the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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