apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
