i wish my penis had a tongue
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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