proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
They are going to name an STD after you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
