Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
