garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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