ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize