A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This toilet bowl is my home.
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