Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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