Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize