I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
