i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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