I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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