Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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