you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize