Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize