So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
