its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
