There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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