Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Drunk is a universal language darling
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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