I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
