Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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