i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
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There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
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According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He has the fingertips of a God
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