I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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