Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
