Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I fill condoms, not promises.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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