Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
