i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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