Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
