He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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