Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
