he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
