I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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