After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
