im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
