Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
