she was so not down for the gang bang
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
