So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She bit a glass in half.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
