i need an iv and a liver transplant
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
