im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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