It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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