she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
