i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
