So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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