I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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