eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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