so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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