Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
