i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize