Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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