R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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