Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
