just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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