This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
