put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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