Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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